Friday, March 20, 2015

Demon

Yesterday, I printed my third limestone lithography. I don't really know if I'm using the correct terms for things, like, I don't know what the name of a copy is. A lithography? Fucked if I know.

Either way, this last one that I printed yesterday, a total of 18 copies came out, one of them is mine, 6 are proofs and the other ones are "official" copies. That's another thing that I don't know what it's called. I know how to sign and number them, though, not completely ignorant.
Either way, I'm learning.
I really like the stone, don't know why. I think maybe, because by the time that I got to it, I became more familiar with the whole process, which is tedious as fucking shit. When this class started, we worked over aluminum plates, which made me want to rip my tits out. Trying to get that done made me realize that when I go to hell, they will have me making aluminum plate lithography.

I was really excited to print this one, I seriously fucking love the drawing. I freehanded it over the stone, where erasing is a pain in the ass, just like everything else. You can't just draw and erase like when you're working on paper.
So, I freehanded the drawing, based on a picture that I took of myself wearing a beanie that has horns/ears. Everybody said they were horns and I got a kick out of that.
Printing him was more troublesome than the previous two lithographs and I think it's because I didn't care for those as much as I care about this one. I love the shit out of this drawing and I wanted it to be perfect, I was getting all picky about the stainy shit on it, smudges, scumming. The proofs on newspaper came out pristine, but when I put in the Stonehenge, shit started to happen.
And I was amused, because, we're talking about a demon, after all, they're not known for being nice or whatever. So when I had like seven or ten copies total printed out and each time I got annoyed when another defective one came out, it was like a crowd of these incredibly sexy eyes were staring at me mockingly. Specially, with that little smile he has. It's like he's thinking "of course this copy you just did sucks, you're not really good at this at all". That little, incredibly good looking bastard.

So this drawing, I don't consider it a self-portrait, everything turned out quite different from my own face, so I don't really recognize myself in it. The nose, lip ring and split chin, maybe, but I find the face to be very masculine, so, as far as I'm concerned, it's an incredibly good looking male demon that is staring out at me. And I like that much much much more.
Unembarrassed, honest, unwavering, piercing and daring stares are good when they come from a pair of eyes like those.
If that really was me, though, it wouldn't be an ambiguous thing, like it was before. The women and self portraits that I used to draw before, were part of how I was brainwashed to think that I was supposed to be as a woman: Tempting, threatening, inviting, mysterious. Like, you look at her and she's irresistible, but she might destroy you. That ambiguity and mystery is what really calls your attention to her. Or something.
If that was me now, you could still think that shit, but what I see in those eyes and if I looked at somebody like that, there would be nothing but the ulterior motive of hurt and pain in them and how much I'm going to enjoy giving hurt and pain. The forehead, more than the eyes, are what face you, it's like a bull charging at you with all its anger.

You can see whatever you want. I like it being a male demon giving me an incredibly seductive and sexy look.

So here is a scan of the print. I printed them at 8 x 12" over Stonehenge paper.

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