I shaved off my eyebrows about two weeks ago and I think it's possibly the boldest change to my image so far.
I'm not a big experimenting type in that sense, I HAVE made changes, they've just been rather subtle:
a) Dying my hair red: Whilst I was in a hippie/goth wanna be stage, I wanted to dye my hair fire engine red. I guess Panama is too much of a conservative/boring country for hair dressers to understand that and, instead, my hair was dyed a wine tone color. Like that purplish thing I see on grandmas sometimes. I tried getting the color I wanted maybe three times and then I gave up and realized that, to get the color I wanted, I'd have to bleach my hair and I didn't have the dough or the force of will and lack of laziness to do all that shit, so I gave up/was discouraged. Haven't felt like dying my hair at all since then, because I actually seriously like the tone of brown I have.
b) Dying my eyebrows blonde or orange (like a natural redheaded color): I discovered that I liked this by accident, because when I still had acne and hadn't started on the second acne treatment, a lady in my building told me and my mom to do the following and that shit would be cleared in two weeks or something ridiculous like that: Wash face with soap and water normal like, then with a cotton ball, apply peroxide all over your face, then with another cotton ball, apply listerine all over your face, and then with a cotton ball, apply evaporated milk all over your face until that shit dries up and then just rinse it off.
The acne wasn't gone at all in two weeks time and I don't remember if that was the order of the things, but we kept doing it, anyway, because.. I don't really know why. But I kept doing the three things, if differently from the original instructions.
I STILL use listerine as an astringent after washing my face, because that way I don't have to buy an astringent and the listerine serves a double purpose and I like how refreshing it is on my skin.
I saw how the peroxide died all the little hairs of my face and I was tripping it. I specially liked how my eyebrows looked all whitish/light yellow, I don't know how I didn't notice until they were already a completely different color. Then I stopped and then I started again a bit less, because before they turned light yellow, they were orange and I seriously liked that even more. I thought it was a really nice contrast with my dark brown hair and I feel it made my face more colorful.
c) Cutting my hair super short: I don't remember when was the first time I cut my hair, but I went to my hairdresser and asked him to cut my hair to the same level as my jaw, then I went a couple of times after that to make the haircut better, because it looked ugly as shit at only one length, so he did these little layers. I liked how I looked kind of younger and how I was kind of like Milla with her almost permanently short hair. She was actually one of the ones that made me want to have short hair, she just works it so well. And also Carrie Bradshaw, from "Sex And The City", because in some episodes she had it real short and it looked gorgeous on her.
Anyway, yeah. Those are the changes I can remember doing to my person, before having shaved off my eyebrows.
I watched "The Wall" a bunch of times (I lost count x_x), I think I was up to seven times and the moment when Pink shaves off his eyebrows, for some reason, always really catches my attention. Maybe it's his facial expression whilst doing it or maybe there's something to be understood at that moment that I don't quite grasp.
Like, at first he's shaving his chest hair and he seems child like in his excitement, specially while he's rinsing the shaving cream off. Like, he's just dicking around "oh, haha, I'm gonna shave mah chest hair and it's gon' be CRAY-ZEE haha". But when he looks up at his face and touches his eyebrows and then they don't show his face again until he's shaved them off, that part just gets me.
It's like the moment where he just accepts he's mad and embraces his insanity. And each time I saw the movie, it made me want to do it myself.
I thought a lot about it, because that happened maybe two years ago, now? Surely, more than a year, though.
I'm definitely not mad/going mad, but I try to heed to my impulses sometimes, because if it's something that's lingered there for so long, BEGGING me to do it, then I gotta listen.
I told my dad, brother and boyfriend I wanted to do it and they were all like "pft, it's gonna look ugleh" and they were right XD
It's cool, though, because I'm incredibly satisfied that I did it and it's been very interesting.
My hands trembled as I did it and I didn't cut them off all in one sweep and it was also kind of painful. I guess I should have gotten them wet or put some soap or something.
It was real strange how my brow and forehead looked so flat and how expressionless I looked. And I thought the fact that that protrudes a little bit, would be enough to leave some of the expression in my face, but it didn't at all. I looked expressionless and like I was wearing a mask and looked super weird when I smiled, cried, frowned or did any of the gestures I like making.
I also found it incredibly curious how something dark, like the eyebrows, would cause something to protrude. I say this, because when I paint or draw, dark things are usually used to bring things to the background and to give depth, not to make things stand out. And, in the case of the eyebrows, it's totally the opposite: Something dark, makes something stand out.
Also, I did this at maybe one or two in the morning, after having gone out with my boyfriend and as soon as I went to bed, I got real nervous about what I had just done, I was like "what the fuck did I just do? x____x". And when I woke up in the morning, the same thing.
I tried drawing them on in the morning because there was no way shit fucking hell that I'd go out like that. And I was pleasantly surprised at the good job I did. I guess being an artist really IS useful sometimes XD
I just kind of traced on the shadow that was left of my eyebrows and then, removed the excess black from the eyeliner with my fingers. And nobody could tell they were gone, while they were drawn on.
Now that they've grown out a little bit, I like how it's all looking. It looks like I have really light colored eyebrows and I feel like I look really threatening or scary.
I feel like I kind of look like.. a Victorian type or one of those women from the twenties or whichever of those times when looking like a doll was in vogue.
I'm glad I did it, but I can't wait for them to be back.